Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What is Derelict Heaven? What does it do?
A: It’s a novel. I wrote it. It gets read, and enriches your life and makes you feel better about yourself as a pirate. It also teaches you how to write, by counter-example.1 It’s about pirates, and magicians, and anarchists, and political upheaval, but in a non-political way. Mostly, it’s a fantasy comedy story disguised as a prescriptive creative writing instruction book. Originally it was going to be a pamphlet, but I decided that the glossy paper looked sort of tacky.
Q: What is “meta-fiction”?
A: Meta-fiction (or metafiction, for those who shun hyphens) is a literary element that you can read about more at Wikipedia. Meta-fiction belongs to a wide range of meta- things, like meta-cinema (movies commenting on filmmaking/cinema). If you liked The Princess Bride, Wayne’s World, or Charlie Kaufman films, you probably like meta. Derelict Heaven is comedy/parody meta-fiction; essentially it makes fun of itself and the conventions of the genre novel.
Q. Seriously, what is this book about.
A. Seriously, it’s about pirates, wizards and writing.
Q: Will I like it?
A: Yes.
Q. How do I get one?
A: Check out my support page!
Q. So he ran away from “Majik” school. Weren’t magic schools invented by J. K. Rowling?
A: No. They were invented by Gandalf, Wicked Witch of the West.
Q: I’ve read that ninja are better than pirates. Why is this book not about ninja?
A: You were lied to. Pirates are definitely better than ninja. When is the last time you saw a ninja navigate uncharted Carribbean waters, fight krakens, horde treasure, and drink rum — all while singing a sweet shanty? Never. I’ll bet it was never.
Q: But ninja can become invisible. Can a pirate do this?
A: If by “invisible” you mean “swashbuckling,” yes. Of course.
Q: What about vampires? How do they compare?
A: Both pirates and ninja are better than vampires.2
[1] And footnotes.
[2] Because vampires suck.
