Pirates, gypsies, and metaphors, oh my!

Captain Justin C. Maverick (aka “The Big Bad Wolf”) would like nothing better than a pirate's life and a bottle of rum served hot over a good dictionary. Unfortunately, a jaded author bent on writing metafiction interrupts his leisurely life at sea, and Lo! He is thrust into DERELICT HEAVEN, a parody novel about pirates, character development, and breakdancing zombies. And plot. Sometimes.

After ditching Majik School and taking up career-pirating, Captain Maverick became one of the most erudite swashbucklers to fly the skull and bones. With powerful black Majik and a penchant for using words like "propinquitous" and "penchant," he had a pretty good thing going for him. But, for plot to work properly, pretty good things can never last. A fussy rival, Dragon White, is ordered by the King to put Maverick behind bars, entrenching them both in a malodorous political mire. When Maverick buddies up with one of the King’s most powerful magicians, the Princely and Charming (and anarchist) Aroshi, things get even more complicated. Finally, throw in a threefold prophecy predicting a portal to the mystical world of "Earth" and you’ve got a complete disaster... How will our heroes get out of this one?!

Avast! A FAQ!
Click here to learn more about Derelict Heaven, through the ingeniuitive use of a FAQ.

Read!
Read selected chapters using your eyeballs and linguistic processing portions of your brain.
Support: Get!
Learn how to support me and Derelict Heaven so we don't have to live under the Hamline bridge anymore.
The author!
Meet me, the author! Or, at least, meet the summarized, publicity-oriented internet representation of me, the author.
The crew!
Come and meet the swashbuckling, heroic crew and cast. Now with pictures, so you can judge them on appearance only!
Swag!
Probably what you're looking for: Free stuff, merchandise, and the Make Your Own Pirate Flag time-waster.
    Contact!
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